I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately–the past, the present, and the future.
I’ve been looking back a lot at my previous college experience, as I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few weeks trying to work with the appropriate folks at my current institution to get previous credits transferred. In looking back at my transcript, I’ve been filled with a sense of regret, but at the same time, I want to look forward. Looking forward, however, requires I get credit for those classes in which I did well…or decent. If the course was able to be transferred and I got an acceptable grade, I really wanted the credit. I get to start fresh and those grades aren’t factored into my cumulative GPA at my current school, but the credits mean something. The credits and course equivalencies mean I get to spend time taking classes that I want to take, not that I have to take.
In the end, most of the classes I was pushing for were finally transferred and this means that, at the end of the current semester, I will be considered a junior. This also means that, as much as I look back on my previous experience with some regret, it wasn’t a waste. It does count for something. I’ve often made my student loan payment and felt bad because I don’t have “anything to show for it”. Getting those credits means I will have something to show for it.
In looking back, I’ve looked forward because I have more of an idea what my future requirements will be. I needed that information to be able to plan. I couldn’t plan appropriately without knowing if I needed to re-take World History 2 or Public Speaking, among other classes. Now that I know what’s left in order to graduate, I do still need to clarify some information, but I think I will be done by Spring of 2014, if not Fall of 2013. I will need to take some summer courses in order to do this, but that’s OK. I’m willing to do that to get this done. I can take classes during the first summer session only each year and it won’t be too disruptive to the kids because they go to school so late into June. (I guess that is now the perk for us, as opposed to the complaint in previous years.)
I don’t want to live life with regrets. While sometimes I feel negative thoughts entering my head because I wish I had done this or I wish I had done that, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I made some lousy decisions at 18, but I’ve learned a lot from those decisions. Those decisions have shaped my life, whether good or bad. We are only given one opportunity at life and I don’t want to look back with regret. I want to look forward with excitement and be proud of myself for having the courage to make changes. That’s not easy to do, but being willing to make changes is half the battle. The other half is taking responsibility for the bad decisions and moving the hell on!
As Bon Jovi says in their iconic song, “It’s my life…it’s now or never!”