I have never had a lot of self-confidence. I’ve always had dreams and aspirations, but often times I’ve reached a roadblock and then stopped believing I could do whatever it was that I was trying to do. Certain things seemed hard and I gave up.
I also have had a hard time believing that people like me. This likely stems from typical childhood behavior with other kids. It also didn’t help that I grew up very sheltered. I didn’t go out to play and didn’t really do a lot of socializing when I was younger. My mother was very overprotective. I remember when I was younger and my friend had a pool party at the end of the school year. She lived very close to the school and we were all going to walk to her house after school. My mom didn’t want me to. I think she insisted I get a ride instead of walking. Hello?? Can you say outsider, weirdo, loser??? That’s how I often felt.
I recently read a parenting article here that spoke about the negative effects of constantly praising children. I was frequently told how smart I was by family, but when I started to struggle in high school and later college, I lost my belief that I had a brain. I should have asked for help, but instead I felt stupid and felt like I was too dumb for college.
Since I have been back in school, I feel like I actually have some confidence. I am conquering fears and believing in myself. Instead of saying, “I think I can do this”, I tell myself “I know I can do this.” I love what I am doing and find myself speaking in classes. I approach people I’ve only met once instead of putting my head down and assuming they won’t remember me. So what if they don’t? If I re-introduce myself, they eventually will. Being shy isn’t an option when you want to work in Communications/Public Relations. This has been something I have worked on in the last few years and I am really pushing myself to conquer these fears as part of this journey.
Not finishing college this time around is not an option. I have to finish. But more importantly, I want to do this and I believe that I can. It isn’t easy and I won’t get an A in every class. That’s OK. As long as I do the very best I can and work hard to keep up decent grades and still finish my degree, I will be OK.
Earlier today, I found this great quote from Dr. Seuss: