There’s a reason you should go to college when you are young……(rambling)

I got to school at 7:30 this morning.  I stopped for lunch at about 12:05, only because a professor let my class out early.  I had class until 1:30, then stayed at school to work in a computer lab on a project until about 3.  I came home, did a few things around here, went to get my kids around 4, came home again at 4:30, dealt with emails and bills until after 5 p.m. and decided I’m sick of how high our cable/internet bill is, so I called the provider and was on the phone for a half hour.  I have saved us about $100, but now I have to empty the dishwasher, make dinner and get the mail.  And there are still 2 loads of laundry to fold and I have more homework to do.

I’m tired.  

I can’t wait until this semester is over.  

(Thank you for allowing me to vent.)

Life doesn’t come with a GPS

Life requires figuring out the road ahead on your own, and there is often times internal “recalculating”.

You always need a back-up plan in life.  Things doesn’t always work out the way we expect them to work out.  Sometimes any bumps in the road are a result of our own choices, mistakes, whatever.  Other times, life is cruel and bad things happen to good people.

As a child, I always expected to finish high school and go to college, do well, get a good job ….you know the drill.  I never expected to not finish college right after high school.  I had no idea that the fairy-tale marriage I expected to have would end in my late husband’s death after the birth of our second child.  But I got through it because I quickly learned to trudge on through life.  I learned that we need to make the most of whatever is thrown our way in life, no matter what causes these bumps in the road.

I figured out a while ago that if I wanted to change certain things, I had to make the changes myself.  Instead of being disappointed in myself for not finishing school, I had to make finishing school a priority and not look back.  Sometimes not looking back is easier said than done, though.  I get that.

Other times, life is cruel and we are forced to figure out the next step, usually a step we never in a million years thought we’d be taking.  How we handle these steps says a lot about our inner spirit and teaches us a lot about ourselves.  I never thought I’d be able to handle what I went through.  So when I look at my schedule right now, one filled with multiple due dates for multiple major assignments, I cringe (and sometimes want to cry) and realize if I take it one day at a time, sometimes even one hour at a time, I can get through the remainder of this tough semester.

What prompted this post is the fact that a good friend of mine lost her husband last week. This friend is someone who was a huge help to me when I was widowed.  Her husband had been sick for almost 4 years and she’s been through a lot in that time.  She’s handled what life has thrown at her with a sense of grace that most of us will never possess.  She was thrown a monkey wrench in life like I was, and she will get through it because she’s strong.

I didn’t know I was strong.  I never believed that I’d get through what I went through.  I also never expected to not finish school when I was younger.  I honestly didn’t expect a lot of events of my younger days to happen, but as I have gotten older, I’ve learned that it’s important to be prepared as best we can for life’s unexpected events.

Life is constantly “recalculating”.

Why I haven’t blogged much lately……

The end of the semester is near, and my first academic year back in college is almost complete.  Between now and May 10, I have four projects due, two final exams and a paper due.  My youngest dude also makes his First Communion on May 5.  If I don’t lose my mind, it will be a miracle.   I am taking a summer course during the first summer session (May 20-something to the end of June), but it’s one class two nights a week for six weeks.  Right now that looks to be a piece of cake, especially with the schedule I’m keeping now.  I am learning that some things need to be overlooked and I have to forgive myself for not being able to be Supermom and Superstudent all the same time. It’s not going to happen right now.  What doesn’t get done now eventually will.  I really want to clean out my closets, and sadly, I am at a point where I am really looking forward to doing that.  It will get done when I’m done with this crazy semester.  Right now I need to focus on light at the end of the tunnel.

Wonderful things have been happening for our family, and I choose to focus my energy on realizing that life is hard and there is a lot work involved in achieving dreams and goals, and eventually this hard work will pay off. At least I keep telling myself that!